IDENTITY CRISIS

'Saxon' Julie had said just before she fainted. Robert inhaled a deep breath, bringing on another attack of coughing. It was one thing for this Roman General to know but quite another for Julie.

The nurse looked back and forth between Robert coughing deeply on the bed and Mrs. Loxley lying now on the recliner. Quickly pressing the call button, she handed the cannula to the young male aide who hurried in the door. "Get this on him," she ordered, then turned back to Julie, who was already coming around. She took Julie's pulse...way too rapid.

The aide approached Robert with the cannula in both hands, expecting to slide it easily in place. Robert, clutching his upper chest and still coughing, sat up and glared fiercely at him. "Don't you even *cough* think about it *cough*, " he managed.

The nurse had about had it. "Get his wife some water," she snapped, taking the tubing from the aide's hands. "Now see here, Mr. Loxley, your lungs still need a greater amount of oxygen than the air in this room is giving them. You MUST let me put this in place."

Robert narrowed his eyes, tensing his body.

"Robert," Maximus said calmly, "consider letting it be so...for now. You may find it will result in your leaving this place sooner than later."

It was not a command, just spoken with a quiet authority backed by logic. Like Richard spoke with him...had spoken with him. Glancing quickly at Maximus, he let his muscles relax. "For now," he murmured, allowing the nurse to complete her task.

The aide had Julie sitting up, sipping water. "Are you all right now, Mrs. Loxley?" the nurse asked.

"I...I'm fine," Julie murmured, not really able to meet Robert's eyes right now,
knowing he'd heard what the nurse was calling her.

The nurse looked back at Robert. "Your wife has been by your side through this whole thing, Mr. Loxley, even spending last night right here in your room. I think the stress and lack of sleep is getting to her."

"I'm quite all right now, thank you," Julie insisted, still avoiding Robert's eyes, letting her own follow the nurse and the aide as they left. That took her glance past the General, whose lips were curved in the slightest grin.

"I should be getting back to the ICU," Maximus said. "Alistair has not recovered consciousness yet."

"Alistair? That was the man in the mill?" Robert asked.

"Yes, Reverend Alistair Harris. He was only married quite recently and his wife just lost her sister. There has been much for Ahnna to handle, I fear. My wife and I are trying to offer all the support we can."

"Do they think he's going to survive?"

"Nothing is certain. Not yet."

"Would...would you let me know?" Robert asked softly.

"Certainly." He dipped his head toward Robert, then looked levelly a moment at Julie, recalling well the identity his wife had given her. "Good day," he said, nodding to her.

Robert watched Maximus leave then slowly turned his gaze toward Julie, still in the chair just off to his right. "Have...have I married you, Julianna?" Truly, the way he was feeling, he might have done so and just not be able to recall it at the moment.

Julie licked her lips, sitting more on the edge of her seat, but not standing. "No, Robert, you have not."

"Then may I ask...why...?"

"When...when they brought you in, the attendant handed me your wallet, presuming because I drove you here and was by your side, that I was your wife."

"And you did not...?"

She shook her head. "I was going to, Robert, I was, but then they wanted to know your name and your insurance information and all that and...and...and there was a sign on the wall, you see, that only relatives could be with patients while in the ER... and...and...you would have been alone, you see, and...and...I, well, I didn't want that. I didn't want you to be alone. So...so...I didn't...I didn't tell anybody different...that I wasn't Mrs. Loxley." She sighed deeply. "I just...didn't."

"And you stayed with me all the while?"

Julie nodded mutely.

"Even during the battle?"

"You...you remember the battle?"

"General Meridius spoke to me of it, yes. You were there?"

"I, yes, I was."

He closed his eyes, not knowing just what it was she might have seen, but whatever it was, wishing she had not.

Julie stood, coming next to the bed, touching his right shoulder. "It's all right, Robert. I don't really understand, but it's all right."

He opened his eyes, tipping his head to look up at her. "What do you understand, Julianna?" His voice was little more than a whisper.

An odd sound escaped her throat. "I quite possibly do not understand a single thing, Robert. I heard...."

"You heard?"

"You and the General talking. I heard you talking."

He cocked an eyebrow and she continued. "You...you asked him if he were a Roman General."

Ah, she'd heard more than he'd thought. He pressed his lips together.

"And...and...he said he was. And...and...he said you...you were a...a Saxon." She stared straight into his eyes. "ARE you, Robert? Are you a Saxon?"

"And what if I said I am not?"

"I wouldn't believe you. Not now."

"So you find it easier to believe that I am Saxon?"

"I...I'm not sure 'easier' is the right word, but, yes. I'm not sure why, not at all. But I do."

He smiled. "And believing that, where does that take you?"

"Take me? Umm? It, well, let me see. It takes me someplace where there's no ground any more under my feet."

"Is that a place you think you can deal with?"

"I...I'm not sure, Robert. I'm not at all sure. "But I think I...I...might like to find out."

"Why, Julie? Why?"

"Because, because, because...of me. That's why, Robert. Because of me."

He looked faintly surprised. "Yes. Definitely. Because of me. Because of who I am, what I do, how I think, what I write. Because of all that and...and...because of more."

"There is more?"

"There hasn't been." She looked away. "But, Robert, you...you're more."