Part II

By Meggie

(Many thanks and hugs to Stacey for the beautiful image)

Turning the key in the lock, she opened the front door for the two of them to enter. He smiled, finding the house and it’s interior to represent yet another delicate layer and expression of Meggie.

"I’ve only managed to get two rooms done. The living room, except for some more pieces of furniture I’d like to purchase, along with replacing the curtains and sheers. And my…the bedroom, upstairs" she said, catching herself blushing. Jeffrey continued to walk around the large living room, enjoying both the open feel and warmth it offered. Much more than what he had waiting for him back in his boarding room, he thought.

His eyes were immediately drawn to a large wooden rocking chair, sitting beside the front bay windows. Touching the wood, Jeffrey allowed his fingers to slowly, carefully trace and feel every groove and carving in that chair, as if it were Meggie’s body instead. A red sweater was nestled in the seat.

"Not much with the kitchen yet…" he could hear her still going on, noticing she had left the room. Jeffrey looked out the windows, a crooked smiling spreading across his face. Ah, yes…Meggie would certainly pick this spot to spend her afternoons or evenings. She had a panoramic view of many trees in her front yard and which continued to fill her property all the way to the pack near the barn, he had noticed earlier. He turned around and headed towards the staircase, glancing upstairs towards the darkness.

"Oh, there’s a barn and pasture…" she continued, stopping abruptly when she reentered the living room to find Jeffrey looking upstairs.

"There are three rooms up there…two bedrooms, and one I want to use as a library and study. I, um, should have left a light on." Odd, she was suddenly cold and decided to get her red sweater on the rocker. Slipping in on over her blue top, she looked back at Jeffrey.

She seemed flush, he thought. He could tell when she was shy or upset about something by a number of factors: the sudden blush that would spread over her face; the way she bit her lower lip; or how she nervously fiddled with her hands. Walking over to her, Jeffrey wrapped his arms around her small frame, pulling her closer to him. He could smell a hint of honeysuckle fragrance in her hair as he swept it back from her face. She was nervous, he knew by the way she felt in his arms, and wondered why. Offering her a smile, he took her hand and led her to the couch where they sat down together.

Leaning against him, Meggie closed her eyes. She didn’t want this peaceful moment to end, but knew they had to eventually talk about everything.

"Jeffrey," she started.

"Shush." He tenderly laid a finger against her lips as he gazed down into her troubled blue eyes. "I just want to hold you, feel you against me again."

Curling her legs under herself on the couch, Meggie rested her head against Jeffrey’s chest. She could feel his fingers in her hair, slowly become entwined there. Then his left hand on her hip. The warmth and gentle movement of his hands made her suddenly more aware of her feelings for him. Meggie was breathless, feeling a strong need to do everything she could to show him how much she loved him, completely and fully.

"Jeffrey," she finally managed to whisper, "I love you. There is no one…."

"I love you too, Meggie. I tried hard to fight the feelings you stirred inside me, trying to convince myself there were merely a foolish old man’s yearnings for a young woman who could not be romantically interested in him."

Sitting up, she turned to face Jeffrey completely, putting her hands upon his face. His blue eyes remained focused on her. He reached up, taking her hands and pulling them down to his lap where he covered them with his own. Taking a deep breath, he began to repair their broken relationship the only way he knew how... with the truth.

"I came here, thinking I could say goodbye and leave. But I can’t. Ivy was right. Love is something you don’t control. And I do recall all those times we spent together, and I don’t regret one single moment. I…it’s hard for me to trust, to believe in something after everything that happened. I built a wall around my heart, hell my whole body, to prevent anything or anyone from ever getting inside to touch me."

Meggie looked down at his hands covering hers. She could feel his pain, the hurt and loss he carried with him every day, everywhere. When they were together, though, a fire and light appeared in Jeffrey’s eyes and soul. And that was something she wanted desperately to help him keep.

"Jeffrey, I didn’t mean what I said. Back there at the boarding house or before. I don’t hate you. I…can’t." She pulled her right hand out from under his and slowly ran her fingers through his hair, enjoying the soft touch of it. He smiled, enjoying the simple pleasure she derived from this action.

"Meggie…" he softly spoke, reaching up to cup her face. God, he needed her now more than ever. He searched her eyes, hoping to see the same need reflecting back at him.

She could feel his desire growing, his need for more intimacy reaching a pinnacle. How could she say no? It’s what he wanted, and what she longed to give him. Meggie bit her lower lip, trying to find the right words to speak at this critical moment.

Jeffrey saw her hesitation, both in her facial expression and movement. Leaning forward, he kissed her cheek, and then softly whispered in her ear. "There’s nothing I want more than to show you how much I need you, love you."

Closing her eyes as his warm breath melted against her neck, Meggie sighed. He was waiting, waiting for her to make the next move. But there still lingered pain, fear, and confusion. Jeffrey closed his eyes tightly; they were together finally, but something still wasn’t right. Perhaps he had hurt her more deeply than he had realized? She couldn’t possibly be afraid of him. He relaxed his hold on her so he could study her face. Damn, she was biting that lip.

"Meggie, sweetheart, I never meant to hurt you or push you away. I want us to start over again, here in Australia. I want to be a part of your life. That is if you still want me." There, he had given her the chance to respond, offering him anything that might help him understand her current feelings.

She turned away from those eyes, those piercing blue orbs that melted her heart and made her weak inside. How could she make him understand?

"I want that too. For us to start over fresh here, with nothing from the past throwing a dark shadow over us. I want you to be happy, to learn to trust again, to feel you can share whatever worries you have with me. I’m not Liane, Jeffrey. Please don’t shut down on me because of what happened between you two. I…."

The mention of his ex-wife’s name sent a jolt through him, stirring up old memories and the image of his two girls he could see a few times during the year now. If he moved here, how would that affect things between them? Liane couldn’t deny him any visitation rights, but he couldn’t just move without talking to them first. Taking his glasses off, he rubbed his sore eyes, trying to sort through the multitude of emotions and questions that flooded his mind.

Meggie studied his reaction carefully. He seemed to be trapped, emotionally and physically. Standing up, she walked over to some boxes on the floor. Why couldn’t their relationship be as simple to fix as the belongings which waited to be put where they belong, each in their own spot. Frustration prompted her to kick the box full of books, causing her foot to hurt. "Damn it."

Hearing her distressed voice, Jeffrey quickly stood up and crossed the room. She had knelt down to pick up the books that had fallen out of the box.

"Meggie, stop. Meggie, Meggie…" he reached for her as he bent down and touched her arms. Holding her tightly, he searched her eyes that showed pure frustration. He then slowly lifted her up, till they both stood beside the box.

"Stupid box. I’ve tripped over it more times than I can count," Meggie spoke softly, trying to fill the sudden and piercing silence that had surrounded them both. She kicked the box again with her right foot.

Jeffrey waited, and then a slow smile spread across his face. In his most serious, business-like tone, he said, "You do know, kicking boxes filled with books is dangerous."

"What?" she said frowning, momentarily stopping her attack on the box to instead look at him. "Jeffrey, you’re not making any sense."

"I know. But neither is kicking that," he answered, pointing down to her feet. "Let me help you with it. What room are they going in?"

"Upstairs…the spare bedroom next to mine."

"Okay then, let me help you get this obstacle out of your path," he said, emphasizing the "obstacle" in the sentence. She nodded as he bent down and lifted the large box.

"Let me run upstairs, turn some lights on."

Meggie darted up the stairs, stopping in her room to flip the wall switch before proceeding to the second bedroom. Light filled an empty room, surrounded by four bare walls. A large window showed the gradual approach of dusk beginning to descend upon them. Turning around, she went back to the hallway to watch Jeffrey carry the box. "Here’s the room," she said, pointing. "Let me help you."

"No, I got it," he puffed. Walking past her, he entered the room and set the box down. "Nice view for you," he nodded as he walked over the window. Staring outside, he could see the pasture and barn. "Do you have your horses yet?" he asked, returning to face her as he crossed his arms and smiled, leaning back against the wall.

"No, not yet. Actually it’s just one for right now," she laughed. There’s two excellent horse breeders living here in the Glen who I’m going to go see about purchasing a horse, learning how to ride, and all that stuff." She walked up to him, reaching out to touch his flushed cheek. "Thank you."

His hand met hers and wrapped around it as he drew it to his chest. She could feel his heart pounding. "You should have let me help," she chided, moving slowly closer to him.

"Meggie." He let go of her hand and began to pull her head closer to his chest. The smell of her hair, the warmth of her body pressed gently against him continued to make him more in need of her, wanting her. Lifting her face up, he smiled down into her eyes. "Meggie, I want to show you how much…."

She stopped him with her finger pressed against his lips. "I know. I want you too, I.…"

Touching her fingers, he brushed them aside to place his lips on her mouth. She responded, slowly and shyly at first. His mouth became more urgent, seeking to claim her with longer kisses sweeping across her cheek, her chin, and neck. He had to stop, he was going too fast, some part of his mind told him. She was vulnerable right now, hell they both were, and taking a step too fast and soon could send them over the edge with no return. He abruptly stopped, pulling his lips away and gently allowed his chin to rest on her head.

"Jeffrey," she managed to say, in short breaths. She reached for his hand and began to slowly lead him to her bedroom. Pausing inside, she turned back to face him with eagerness, yet some hesitation on her face.

He slowly walked up to her, running his hands through her soft hair. His mind flashed back to the three months they had dated. Dinners, walks in the park, phone calls. And then the need for more, for kissing, touching, holding, cuddling. She was shy at first, but gradually began to trust him and opened up more about herself. It was at that point he shut down instead, deciding he was not good enough for her. They had never made love, though he wanted to and hoped she felt the same. Yet, there was also some hesitancy when it came to that point, and he always stopped. She’d apologize, and then he’d say it was all right, better to take everything slow.

Now, as he stood before her, his arms holding her shoulders, he could feel her tremble slightly. Taking her hand, he led her over to the bed, where he sat down and encouraged her to sit next to him. A new start, that’s what he wanted, what they both longed for here in the Glen.

As he turned to face her, something caught his eye on the floor, something torn. Jeffrey walked over and bent down to pick it up. Then sighed. He noticed more pieces of the torn photograph in the wooden trash. Meggie realized what he had found, and instantly walked over to him, taking the torn piece from his hand. "This morning, before I went to have dinner at Millie’s. Seeing this reminded me of something I thought I would never have or know again in my life. And you had already made it clear."

He sighed. "I hurt you, deeply, more than I realized. I think we should start all over and take everything slow now. There’s no need to rush anything," and pausing, he tenderly used the back of his hand to brush her cheek, "and I mean anything, my Meggie." Sadness crept over his face, a defensive wall slowly beginning to surround his heart.

"It’s late, I need to get going. Meggie, when Colin calls you know when the Jeep is fixed, let me know and I’ll stop by here and pick you up, okay?" Jeffrey moved towards the bedroom door and hallway, stopping to face her and offer a weak smile. "Meggie, I love you and want nothing but happiness for you."

She shook her head. No, not now. He was shutting down on her again. She had behaved childishly moments ago, and he took that as her not wanting him. "Please, wait. I…."

"Meggie, it’s been a long day for the both of us. We’ll talk tomorrow, I promise. I’ll stop by here on my way into Coffs Harbour."

"Coffs Harbour?" she asked. "What’s there?"

He chuckled, which helped ease both of them in that awkward moment. "Golf. The best golf club here in Australia. Twenty-seven holes to be exact. And I want to teach you how to play it. We were working on miniature golf back in the States. How about we make a day of it?"

Before I left, she thought. Meggie tried hard to keep the tears from forming in her eyes as she approached him. Biting her lip, she smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "I don’t know. I’m terrible at golf. Trying to hit that damn tiny ball and get it inside one hole, let alone twenty-some."

"Don’t worry, darling. I’ll show you…that’s all I want is to just show you…." He stopped, before saying anything more. Bending down, he kissed her firmly on the lips. "Why don’t you try and get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow, I promise." And with one last kiss, he turned and walked down the stairs and out of her sight.

The last things Meggie heard was the front door open and then close. Then the tears she had fought so hard to keep from falling began to trickle down her cheek. "Goodnight, Jeffrey" she murmured as she sat down on the bed.